Incest or: time alone in a box

duration (10')

orchestration

vla, pno

world premiere

Katrin Meidell, 2005

Dissociation, as Pierre Janat first described it in his book L’Automaticme Psychologique, can be defined as a psychological condition in which certain thoughts, emotions, or even memories are separated from the rest of the psyche. This idea can be easily illustrated as the experience of being engrossed in a book or movie. However, Janat focused on the concept as a means of defensive maneuver, or a way in which the psyche could escape an external trauma. It was latter hypothesized that if an individual were to endure a repeated trauma from which he escaped primarily through the use of dissociation, it would be possible for this individual to experience his or her psyche/identity as disconnected or split into distinct parts. Thus the disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder arose.

The most common split that occurs in an individual with Dissociative Identity Disorder is the formulation of a passive and an aggressive personality type. It is the interaction of these specific personality types that this piece focuses on. Thus Incest or: Time Alone in a Box, should not be taken for its literal interpretation as it applies to multiple individuals, but rather as the relationship that occurs between multiple personality types inside the “box” or head of a specific individual.

As the piece begins, the listener is introduced to the central character of the piece as the viola represents it. Immediately, we will hear the repetition of trauma as it is represented by the use of a pedal on the open strings of the instrument. As the trauma persists, the listener hears the formulation of a new personality type begin to emerge in the piano. These two personalities try to coexist for a time, but then, inevitably, the psyche splits, and we hear the statement of a new personality, represented here by the solo piano. This new aspect of the psyche continuously grows in strength while the original continuously fades. At the end of the piece the original personality once again assumes dominance, but this can only be short lived, because the second will always exist, waiting for a chance to reemerge.

It is the struggle between these two forces that is the very heart of the piece: always one passive and one aggressive force longing to be like the other, lusting after the attributes the other possesses. The personalities constantly switch places, longing for a balance that can never be achieved. This struggle is but an exaggeration of the struggle that occurs in all of us. All people desire what they don’t have. All people long to be that which is what they are not. It is the balancing of these things with in each of us that truly defines who we are.